Helping Nervous Flyers Conquer Their Fear

In many parts of the world, including the U.S., summer brings more opportunities to take friends and family flying. With school out, vacations in full swing, and longer days, the chance to share the joy of flight is plentiful. I was recently asked by a fellow flying club member to take his wife—a fearful flyer—on a flight. Spoiler alert: the flight went well, and my friend’s wife got out of the airplane grinning from ear to ear. Here’s what I did before and during the flight, and what I learned.

Set at Ease

The plan began when my friend reached out after taking his wife on a short trip. He was concerned because she had gotten out of the airplane in tears. Clearly, she was very uncomfortable. One of our club members suggested having an instructor take her for another flight.

The flight was scheduled on a Saturday dedicated to proficiency flying—when all airplanes and CFIs were available to help members with specific needs. My passengers: Karen, the nervous flyer, and her eight-year-old daughter, Claire.

I spent some time getting acquainted with Karen and Claire. I was impressed that she was willing to fly again—that’s gutsy when it’s much easier to say, “No thanks!” The first thing I did was what I call the “set at ease.” This is a conversation to get to know the person and help them feel comfortable. I shared my own flying experiences, stories about my family, and even a little about my grandson who loves flying with me. I wanted to seem relatable and human, not just a pilot behind a yoke.

The Briefing

After a quick pit stop, we walked out to the airplane to talk specifics. I described the route of flight. Karen had suggested seeing some local sights, and we agreed on a scenic route near Harper’s Ferry, where the Potomac and Shenandoah rivers meet. It’s a historic area, and even at 2,000 feet AGL, it’s stunning from the air.

Our plan: depart Montgomery County Airpark (KGAI), proceed outside the Special Flight Rules Area (SFRA), and then decide whether to continue or return once we reached the sights. From there, we’d do a rectangular circuit over the mountains of western Maryland, circling east of Hagerstown before returning to KGAI. The flight duration: roughly one hour.

We discussed the weather, light bumps we might feel, and what we would do in the very unlikely event of an issue. I explained that Karen would have the controls with me guiding and assisting. I had already completed a careful preflight inspection and reviewed weather and airspace, so passengers wouldn’t stand around worrying while I prepared the airplane. I also avoided using arcane flying terms, keeping the briefing clear and understandable.

The Flight

We taxied, received our squawk code, performed the run-up, and departed. As promised, I continuously narrated what I was doing and why—what certain noises meant, why we do a before-takeoff checklist. I find that a steady cadence of updates—“here’s what we’ve done, here’s what we’re doing next, here’s why we made this choice”—reduces stress and keeps passengers engaged.

Headsets with intercom were mandatory, so communication was always possible. I briefed Karen on when not to talk, effectively practicing sterile cockpit under 1,000 feet without overloading her with technical terms.

Once airborne, Karen took the controls above 500 feet and flew for nearly the entire 1.5-hour flight. We reached Harper’s Ferry, decided to continue our circuit, and I continued to monitor her progress. I offered modest corrections and basic instruction, explaining concepts like angle of attack in simple terms. She did an amazing job for a first-time flyer.

The Result

At the end of the flight, Karen was thrilled—she had conquered a fear. There’s not much more rewarding than that. This experience reinforced techniques that have worked for me with nervous passengers and first-time flyers alike. Sharing my love of flying with others is always a blessing, and seeing someone gain confidence in the air is incredibly satisfying.

I encourage you to take someone new flying this summer. With preparation, patience, and clear communication, you can help them discover the joy of flight.

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Marty Sacks

Marty Sacks is a second generation aviator living in Maryland who thanks his Dad for passing along what has become a lifelong love of flying and the appreciation for great aviation books written by legends like Robert Buck and Richard Collins. Marty recently became a flight instructor and enjoys working with the next generation of pilots. He is a very active member of the Maryland Wing of Civil Air Patrol. He is married to his best friend and occasional passenger Mary Beth. They have three grown sons. By day he works in the broadcast industry for an equipment supplier.

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